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Paying Yourself vs. Paying for Others: How to Balance Financial Priorities

Written by
Braam Louwrens
Published on
December 22, 2024

Table of contents

Introduction

When payday arrives, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of bills, loans, and helping others. But have you ever stopped to think about where your money is really going? Are you paying yourself first to secure your financial future, or are you prioritizing everyone else’s needs at your own expense?

For credit consumers juggling debt, savings, and family responsibilities, this can feel like a tough balancing act. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be an either-or decision. With a strategic approach, you can look after your obligations and still prioritize your financial well-being. In this article, we’ll explore the concept of “paying yourself first,” why it’s essential, and how to strike a balance between supporting others and securing your future.

What Does It Mean to Pay Yourself First?

Paying yourself first means setting aside money for your savings and financial goals before addressing other expenses. This isn’t about being selfish—it’s about building a solid financial foundation that benefits both you and those you care about in the long run.

Why It’s Important

  • Emergency Preparedness: A savings buffer can cover unexpected expenses like medical bills or car repairs, so you don’t have to rely on credit.
  • Debt Reduction: Allocating funds toward debt repayment reduces interest costs and helps you regain control of your finances.
  • Future Security: Savings grow over time through investments, giving you peace of mind and financial freedom.

Example

Imagine earning R20,000 a month. By automatically transferring R2,000 into a savings account as soon as you’re paid, you prioritize your future. The remaining R18,000 can then be allocated to bills, debt repayments, and helping others.

The Reality of Paying for Others

For many South Africans, financial support extends beyond personal expenses. Whether it’s helping family members, paying for a sibling’s education, or contributing to household bills, cultural and social expectations can make “paying for others” feel non-negotiable.

The Hidden Costs

While helping others is noble, it can also strain your finances:

  • Limited Savings: Putting others first often means delaying your own financial goals.
  • Debt Accumulation: Taking on loans or credit to help loved ones can trap you in a cycle of debt.
  • Burnout: Constant financial pressure can lead to stress and resentment.

Example

Sipho, a 35-year-old teacher, supports his parents and younger siblings financially. While his generosity is commendable, it leaves him with little room to save or pay off his own student loans. Over time, Sipho realizes he needs a better balance to secure his future without abandoning his family.

Finding Balance: Tips

Striking the right balance between paying yourself and supporting others requires clear boundaries, smart planning, and open communication.

a. Create a Budget That Prioritizes Savings

Use the 50/30/20 rule as a guideline:

  • 50% for essentials (rent, groceries, debt repayments)
  • 30% for discretionary spending (helping family, entertainment)
  • 20% for savings and investments

b. Communicate Your Boundaries

Talk openly with family members about what you can and cannot afford. This helps manage expectations and prevents misunderstandings.

c. Avoid Using Credit to Help Others

Taking out loans or using credit cards to assist others can backfire, leaving you with unmanageable debt. Focus on helping within your means.

d. Automate Your Savings

Set up an automatic transfer to your savings account on payday. This ensures you’re paying yourself first, even if other expenses arise later.

e. Invest in Long-Term Growth

Explore investment options like unit trusts or retirement funds. These can help you grow your wealth over time, making it easier to support others sustainably in the future.

Why Paying Yourself First Helps Everyone

Prioritizing your financial health doesn’t mean abandoning others—it means ensuring you’re in a position to help sustainably. By building your own safety net, you reduce the risk of financial emergencies that could burden your loved ones.

Example

Let’s revisit Sipho. By creating a budget, automating his savings, and setting clear boundaries with his family, he gradually builds an emergency fund and starts paying off his student loans. This allows him to continue helping his family while also working toward his own financial goals.

Conclusion

Balancing personal financial goals with the needs of others is no easy task, but it’s vital for long-term financial stability. By paying yourself first, creating a realistic budget, and setting healthy boundaries, you can take care of your future while still supporting the people you love.

Remember, your financial well-being is the foundation that allows you to help others. Take control of your money today and secure a brighter future for yourself and those who depend on you.

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